horses

i hate to tell certain flying monkey neices that they picked the wrong horse to back. regardless if they assume it's right because they assume my grandma would take my mom's side since she babied the fuck outta her. proof that my grandma felt uncomfortable with the fact that she KNOWS what my mom did was wrong by shielding her body from being kicked by my dad is how she just "swept it under the rug".. maybe because she was ASHAMED of my MOM's stupidity and selfishness? *GASP* which is more than likely the reason that you idiots didn't hear about it. THAT GOES FOR JESSIY AND AMANDA. i'll never forgive either of you for trying to make my mom feel like she was a good parent (basically disregarding MY own WELL-BEING). you two assume i'm too stupid to recognize the damage that she's done to me. there's a good chance that i'll be shitting in a colostomy bag because of her selfish ass. she's also never cared about me enough to even consider telling me about the incident dealing with my dad- when he accidentally kicked me. she also knows better than to deny it ever happened to me or even bringing it up to me in the first damn place. i honestly came to knowledge of it after my last bowel surgery- kinda like God was showing me why i was going through what i was going through. she's also more than likely ashamed of herself but i'm not really sure she has the intelligence to identify her own mistakes since she's never found it necessary to apologize or even recognize the shit she put me through. pretty damn sad when the ONLY family member who even checked on me in the hospital was my cousin JOE who videochatted with me. i KNOW the rest of my family was aware i was in the hospital because they said they'd call amanda- then i found out she was up north with her husband by my grandma's sister when i called her to tell her where i was. she didn't even find it necessary to check on me when she got back. I "GOT THIS", RIGHT?! that reminds me of throwing a person in a canoe with waves and expecting them to find their way to the shore WITHOUT a paddle or motor or anything else to propel them and screaming at them from the shore, "YOU GOT THIS!" while expecting them to make it safely to shore all by themselves. so it's not like i wouldn't be able to get support. joe is dependable. the rest of you find it inconvenient to care about me- especially when it's not beneficial for you. it's also proof that i'm adaptable and i can make things work when things are going wrong. if you weren't gonna show me care or support- YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD MY GRANDMA THAT YOU DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE TAKING THE RESPONSIBILITY SHE EXPECTED YOU TO TAKE. family doesn't mean shit these days and my grandma was naive to think it does.